This bag of chips

an investigative report

I sat down this evening with a bag of Boulder Canyon Hickory Barbeque Kettle Cooked Potato Chips (net wt. .5 oz.) at approximately 7:28 p.m. This was, it should be noted, after a healthy dinner of ample proportion. At this time, the motivation behind the snack can be only be guessed at. Leading theories include an extensive evening walk and an insubstantial lunch.

The chips opened easily — a welcome change from other bags encountered earlier this month (interestingly enough, same manufacturer but different design: those required scissors). Once opened, crunching began in a swift and effective manner. There is little to be said about the specifics, as there was little time to observe the subject before consumption. An accumulation of orange residue did remain on the fingers — more on that later.

Approximately halfway through the bag, careful consideration was taken as to the possibility of leaving the remainder. This same consideration was taken with one-third (1/3) and one-quarter (1/4) of the chips remaining. With ten chips left a final calculation was performed, and the go-ahead was given. The last of the bag was completed in two handfuls.

Following this act of deliberate mastication, my attention turned to cleanup — specifically, the powder that clung to my hand. There were layers of bright, tangy dust, as no cleaning was done in the intervals between bites. The fingers were cleaned one at a time, each leaving a quick pop as it exited my mouth. While more intense in flavor, the residue lacked a pleasing texture that made the chips themselves so enticing.

A post-snack analysis revealed one significant fact: an optimal fullness level was reached and not exceeded. For this author, a rare feat.